literature

Sollux: Make a Hate Friend

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YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO A RANDOM FUCKASS. SAY SOMETHING, ASSHOLE!
▲: hey, wha't2 up?
▼: Hiiiiiiii there!
▲: oh. hey, vk.
▼: Oh, it's you. What have you 8een up to l8ly?
▼: Going through more mood swings I'd t8ke it?
▲: what el2e?
▼: May8e I expected something new, 8ut I guess you'll always 8e the same old Sollux.
▼: 8ut I guess that's kind of comforting, I'll always 8e aware of how much I h8 you just the same.
▲: and ii'll hate you ju2t a2 much. wow, you're riight, that ii2 a comfortiing thought.
▼: See, it's kind of nice!
▼: You'll always 8e a dum8 and whiny dou8le douch8ag and I know I can count on that.
▲: and you'll alway2 be a cold-hearted biitch who care2 only for her2elf. good two know you'll never change.
▼: You're so sweet, I can see why Karkat loves you so much ::::P
▲: that'2 me, ever the charmer.
▲: ((Okay, OOC for a moment, but is it weird that this is the best conversation I've had with a Vriska ever? xD This is entertaining.))
▼: No wonder Feferi is falling for you.
▼: You're just full of gr8ce and style, Sollux.
▲: .....plea2e tell me you're ju2t beiing a biitch agaiin and lyiing about that.
▲: plea2e.
▼: You'll have to watch out or else Karkat isn't going to 8e the only one after your 8ulge :::;)
▼: Come to think of it, you and Aradia were pretty close too. Was there a troll you didn't seduce????????
▲: ed want2 me, two. even iif iit ii2 iinked rather than flu2hed.
▲: people ju2t can't keep theiir hand2 off of me.
▼: I know, you're just so irresista8le, and yet I can still find it in my heart to h8 you. A troll among trolls, you are ::::P
▲: ii ju2t can't turn all thii2 2wag off.
▼: Nor would I expect you too. 8ut the question is why?
▼: Why do people like you so much?
▲: that.... ii2 hone2tly a good que2tiion. ii don't know.
▼: Nor do I. I mean all you do is compl8n, you slept through most of the game, and honestly you're nothing 8ut a chore to talk to anymore. It's almost like you're a worthless mutant 8looded freak who people pity. Pity until they confuse their emotions for you and think they love you.
▲: two be hone2t, ii agree wiith you. ii really don't know why people liike me.
▼: I guess some of the times you just see a little muscle8east who's so mutil8ted and sad that you can't help 8ut feel sorry for it. I know that's how some of them feel a8out you.
▲: you're probably riight.
▲: ed only hate2 me becau2e ii "2tole" ff.
▲: ff ju2t hang2 ontwo me becau2e 2he feel2 bad for me gettiing her kiilled two get her iintwo the game.
▲: kk... ii diidn't even know he liiked me. huh.
▲: and ii don't know about aa, eiither.
▼: I'm sure she only liked you 8ecause you were 8oth mentally distur8ed mutants, you had to have someone or else you 8oth would have 8een alone. 8ut at least she was fun ::::/
▲: 2he wa2... but that doe2 make 2en2e.
▲: but where doe2 that leave kk?
▼: Really? He's the most h8ful of us all, and you were willing to put up with his shit. He only acted like he enjoyed your company 8ecause it g8ve him an outlet for his rage. You're nothing more than an anger dumpster to him, nothing more. It's why he spends so much time 8elittling you for nothing at all. He doesn't care a8out you, it's only a8out m8king himself feel good enough that he can spend time with his real friends, like Terezi. I wouldn't 8e shocked if she h8ed you for all the time you spend with him.
▲: y'know... that actually make2 a lot of 2en2e. wow.
▼: And I'm actually willing to tell you this 8ecause I h8 you, 8ut I'm at least honest.
▲: well, thank2 for that at lea2t.
▼: I'm not like those others who want to use you, I'm really trying to m8ke your life 8etter.
▲: but why? you 2aiid your2elf, you hate me.
▼: Of course, Sollux. I depend on my h8 of you, 8ut I also recognize it's a two way street, so I have to m8ke sure you're aware of these things.
▲: hmm.
▲: ii thiink ii hate you a liittle biit more for telliing me all thii2.
▼: I h8 you, 8ut it's a mutual h8.
▼: May8e it's more 8lack than I'd like and I don't feel like watching you go insane and culling yourself.
▲: ugh. ii thiink iit'2 laggiing agaiin.
▼: 8ut don't worry, I'm here for you Sollux.
▼: You can trust me, 8ecause you know I'm a 8itch.
▼: I'm not trying to trick you like the others, you already know who I am.
▲: true. very true.
▲: doe2n't mean ii liike iit.
▼: And you think I do?
▲: al2o true.
▼: So why not just accept this unfriendly offer Sollux?
▼: Or are you going to........."second guess it"
▲: what offer?
▲: oh ye2, haha, two. ii get iit. 2o funny.
▼: I just want to 8e friends with you. H8 friends, 8ut friends none the less.
▲: you know what? 2ure. why the fuck not.
▼: That's what I like to hear!!!!!!!!
▼: I'm glad to see you're finally starting to t8ke a positive step in your life.
▲: ye2, becau2e haviing a hate friiend ii2 very po2iitiive.
▼: Yeah, 8ut at least as we've st8ed 8efore, it's a friend you can always trust to h8 you.
▲: okay, you make a good poiint.
▼: I'm glad we see eye to eye :::;)
▲: wow. ii actually feel liike ab2olute 2hiit now.
▼: Yeah, puns will do that to you. It's why I wondered how you stayed with Fef for as long as you did.
▲: two be hone2t... yeah, ii don't know eiither.
▼: 8ut that's not an issue any longer
▼: You're 8etter than worrying a8out things like that.
▲: what'2 thii2? my hate-friiend tryiing two cheer me up? prepo2teriiou2!
▼: How am I going to knock you down if you're already so damn low, huh?
▲: touché.
▼: You give me far too little credit, Captor.
▲: maybe ii do. hmm.
▲: you know, ii thiink thii2 ii2 the longe2t conver2atiion ii've ever had wiith you.
▼: Yeah, 8ut at least we got something out of it.
▲: hmm, true.
▼: Which is more than I ever thought I'd say for talking to you Sollux.
▲: can't argue wiith that.
▼: Well this has 8een fun, 8ut I have other irons to tend to, so I shall talk to you l8r, h8 8uddy!
Best Vriska I've met yet.

Sollux: Me
Vriska: ~EhnDjali

Characters (c) Andrew Hussie
© 2011 - 2024 XD-ness
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SunoWolf's avatar
...this is brilliant ;3;